


his end and beginning

by enablelove



Series: the way you said i love you [17]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Canon Compliant, I Love You, M/M, unapologetic schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 01:54:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11003550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enablelove/pseuds/enablelove
Summary: ‘I love you’ said as an awe-inspiring first, unreturned, post-it, jumped, and goodbye.





	his end and beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This is an exercise in writing all of these [prompts](http://trash-by-vouge.tumblr.com/post/132858041745/the-way-you-said-i-love-you). ♥ Self-indulgent birthday fic ☺ Prompts are also officially DONE. [title kinda from 'all of me']

31\. In awe, the first time you realised it

It’s a small moment that starts the snowball chain of events. Jared makes coffee for Jensen, as usual, waiting for him to roll his pretty ass out of bed so they can head to set. It’s already starting to get a little cold and he has their jackets ready to go. 

Jensen comes down and gives him a warm smile, eyes still puffy and full of sleep. As fondness bubbles within him and he shakes his head at the idiot, he realizes something.

“I love you,” Jared tells Jensen in awe, realizing it for the first time that all the ribbing on set and all the fan jokes and everything in between has been leading right to this moment. Jensen freezes, and warily looks at Jared.

“What?” 

Jared bites his lip. This can go south fast and he can’t lose his best friend.

“Nothing, I was talking to my coffee. You ready to go, princess, or do you still need a few minutes to primp in front of the mirror?” Jared jokes, already elbowing his way past Jensen to the car waiting out front for them. 

Jensen’s not ready to hear the words and Jared’s not quite ready for them to truly be heard. 

32\. In a way I can’t return

Jensen hears the _I love you_ from Jared plain as day and can hear the tremble and the astonishment in it. An influx of feelings rushes through him from dread to excitement to regret to conviction to inevitability. It’s strange, but Jensen’s definitely not ready to say it, breathe it, or feel it. The emotion of love is too strong.

It’s too fast for I love you – they’re not even a thing. Yet?

It’s too early for Jensen to be thinking that deeply about something other than the caffeine in front of him. 

He can’t return that I love you. Not in this moment. He has the relationship with Danneel, even if it is a little bit rocky. He has his parents to think about and his upbringing. He has the show to think about and what it could mean. He has his career to think about and the consequences. 

So Jared brushes it off pretending it’s about the coffee even if he’s not the one that would marry it and Jensen breathes a sigh of relief. He can feel a tinge of guilt and hurt that this is being brushed under the rug like it doesn’t matter. It’s the best option. For now. 

33\. On a post-it note

Time passes and Jensen breaks it off with Danneel – realizing that ever since Jared said those words to him, and maybe even before that, it wasn’t going to work. She’s an amazing girl, but for someone else. She takes it with grace and understanding, even guessing one of the reasons.

“Jared, right?” She had asked wryly and Jensen honestly couldn’t even deny it. He stopped fighting it within himself because apparently it took Jared saying three words to unlock something deep inside. 

Things are a bit tense between them, working together all day and then coming home together too. They try their best to laugh it off or keep going how they were, but Jared’s holding himself back a little and Jensen’s tired of it. 

The next time Jared goes to run the dogs at the ass crack of dawn, he crawls out of bed (literally) and picks up the post-it note that he got ready the night before. He groggily makes his way to Jared’s bathroom and sticks the note on the mirror.

_I love you, too. Let’s talk._ The note says. Jensen needs the air cleared, especially if it’s a chance towards happiness. 

34\. Before we jump

Jensen doesn’t go back to bed, as much as he wants to, and goes to the kitchen – coffee already percolating. It smells heavenly and he sits at the breakfast nook, putting his head down and just inhaling the scent that surrounds him. It’s coffee, but also them – the dinner they had the night before, dog, cologne, and sweat. It’s home.

Jared does a double take when he sees Jensen already in the kitchen, a half-hour before he needs to be.

“Are you sick?” he asks worriedly, coming closer to check his forehead. 

“No, I just woke up, okay?” Jensen says, pushing him away.

“Sure, Jensen, whatever you say,” Jared says, full of sass, before he walks to his room. Jensen bites his lip, waiting like it’s Judgment Day. It sort of is – the talk could mean the end. 

Jared walks back in to the kitchen, still sweaty, and holds the sticky note up.

“What…” he starts but Jensen doesn’t let him.

“Did you mean it?” He asks, needing to know because they can find a way to move on and put all of this behind them. Jared doesn’t even ask him what he’s talking about, always on the same wavelength, and he sighs.

“Yes.”

“Then I do too. I have no clue what it means and what crazy roller coaster journey is in front of us. But I can’t live anymore in a world of _what if.._ ,” he says, stressing the last part. Jared walks closer to him, still hesitant. There’s so much between them, so much at stake, but Jensen can only imagine how much better it could be with the last barrier torn down.

“We have to promise to always be honest with each other if something isn’t working,” Jared says, getting with the program, and that makes Jensen smile. Jared’s always the pragmatic one, thinking logically through every scenario as his brain runs a million simulations. It’s one of his most endearing qualities.

“Of course,” Jensen replies.

Jared leans in, still slow as if he’s afraid Jensen’s going to run away, and Jensen clutches the sweat-soaked shirt, pulling him down into their first kiss. It’s not perfect, but it’s sweet and practice does make perfect after all.

The both pull back and just stare at each other.

“I love you,” they both say in sync, like so much else that happens in their lives, before both jumping headfirst into the chaos that is going to be their relationship. 

35\. As a goodbye

They both want to talk to their families soon after they decide to give this thing between them a try.

They’re at a private bathroom in the Austin airport, both of them waiting to catch their respective connecting flights home. It’s been an interesting month, fitting together in different ways than they ever have before. The learning curve has been steep at times, but never overwhelming or unmanageable because they know the outcome is worth it.

Jared tucks his head into Jensen’s neck, kissing every bit of skin he can reach and just breathing in Jensen’s calming scent in between kisses.

“We’ll be okay,” Jensen tells him, running hands up and down his back.

“I know,” Jared says, voice muffled. “But I’m still worried.”

Jensen hums his agreement and continues just holding him.

A call comes out vaguely from the terminal, beckoning all San Antonio flights to board. He lets out a deep sigh, wishing he were back in Vancouver, but knowing this is the next step in the right direction.

“You know they love me,” Jensen says as Jared pulls away regretfully. “How can they not?”

Jared rolls his eyes at him, but he knows Jensen’s right.

“I love you,” Jared tells Jensen, not just as a goodbye, but also as a see you soon. He kisses Jensen’s softly before grabbing the handle of his bag off the ground.

“Ditto,” Jensen replies, eye crinkles winking at him, also saying _as soon as possible_.


End file.
